What a week! It has been a few days since I have last posted, but I have been taking a short break. This week was very different for me as I did something that I have never done before, a prayer fast. Let me just tell you, I LOVE food so I was more than just a little bit apprehensive when I really felt God lay it on my heart to fast…for 5 days. When I first told Jay that I was going to do this, I know he thought that I was nuts and was a little concerned. So we talked about it together and I explained to him why I was going to fast.

I know that there are some of you that read my blog and we have never even met, but it is very important to me that I am real with you and I want to be completely transparent when it comes to this post which is a little difficult for me. I have been raised in the church my whole entire life and I am sad to admit that even though I have always known the true meaning behind Easter, this is the first time that it has truly hit me and I understand the full weight of it all. It has hit me like a ton of bricks! Hello! Where have I been the last 25 years??? Like I said, I really am ashamed to admit that, but I feel it’s so important because some of you may be at the same point and I just want to share my testimony story. God has really captivated my heart within the last 2 years and I just love that He keeps revealing something new to me everyday. Or, in this case something that has been there for years that I have just been unable to grasp onto due to my human nature. I have not always had a teachable spirit and a softened heart,  so there is lots and lots and lots of lost time to make up for!

As for the fast, I wanted to really take the time and reflect on Holy week. Like I said I love food,so when I felt like God was calling me to commit to 5 days of only juice and water (with a bagel for a snack before bed so I wouldn’t get short with Jay and the kids), I couldn’t help but think why can’t it just one or two days? But that would be my flesh taking over. I really doubted my ability, and ultimately God’s ability to sustain me. The whole point was to focus on the Lord and things eternal and not the things of this earth. It was one of the most challenging things that I have ever done, but now that the week is over, I am so glad that I allowed myself to be led by faith.

With today being the end of my fast, I really wanted to watch “The Passion of The Christ” to prepare my heart for a weekend of true praise and thanksgiving. I had the opportunity to go and see it in theaters with my mom and younger siblings when it first came out but have not watched it since and Jay has never seen it. I can remember crying when I saw it in theaters years ago, but this time was different. The tears were much more different and they streamed down my cheeks more freely. To so many in a lost world, they do not know the true meaning of Easter (as well as Christmas) and if they have heard, they may not believe or do not truly grasp it. The Passion is a wonderfully made movie however, it is not a movie. It is based off of absolute truth of events that actually took place in places that truly exist. It would not be an exaggeration to share with you that I bawled as I watched it for the second time ever tonight. During the scenes when Jesus is being beat and having his flesh ripped away from his body, Jay asked if I wanted him to fast forward. After thinking about it, I told him no. As hard as it may be to watch, it is so important for me to remember and be reminded of the sacrifice that was made for me. He took my place.

Our Tuesday morning women’s Bible study just recently finished up Beth Moore’s study on the disciple John, the one that Jesus called his Beloved. In our study we read about how John was the only disciple that followed Jesus on his journey from the Garden of Gethsemane all the way to Calvary along with Mary and Mary Magdalene. I can not imagine what John was feeling as he stared upon the face of Jesus, his friend that he loved,  that had been beaten so badly that he was unrecognizable. But even more so, I can not imagine as a mother, the kind of torment that Mary had to be feeling. She knew that her sons life was to fulfill a great purpose but she was his mother who had carried him under her heart and cared for him during his years here on earth.

I don’t know where you stand in you faith, but don’t ever for one second think that Jesus did not know His fate. His life here on earth was to fulfill a great purpose that was planned long in advance.

“No one can take my life from me. I sacrifice it voluntarily. For I have the authority to lay it down when I want to and also to take it up again. For this is what my Father has commanded.”

John 10:18

He came to lay down is life as a sacrifice, a payment for our sins so that we could spend eternity in Paradise with Him if we would accept His gift.

This past week during my fast, I started to read “And The Angels Were Silent” by Max Lucado. It follows the last week of Jesus life and His journey to the cross. Within the first few pages of the book I was struck by this thought:

“No the journey to Jerusalem didn’t begin in Jericho. It didn’t begin in Galilee. It didn’t begin in Nazareth. It didn’t even begin in Bethlehem.

The journey to the cross began long before. As the echo of the crunching of the fruit was still sounding in the garden, Jesus was leaving for Calvary.”

Wow!

I love that!

This has been a great week of reflection and growth that will only get better come Sunday when we remember that Jesus has defeated death and overcome the grave. He is Risen! And praise God for that!

Here are a few songs that I love and are wonderful for reflection on the Easter season. I pray that they bless your heart as much as they do mine! I hope that you all have a wonderful weekend spent with family and enjoying some wonderful fellowship together but most of all, I pray that you remember the one that loves you so much that He gave His life for you.

“I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

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