I can not believe that it has been a year already. One year ago yesterday was the day that my moms brain tumor was discovered and our families world was rocked. I was thinking today how this past year has seemed like the longest year of my life but at the same time the shortest year. I think about where we were and what we were doing a year ago and it feels like it was just last week, it is still so vivid. I will never, ever forget getting the phone call from my younger brother Matthew telling me that they had found a tumor. I was breathless. Cancer happens to other families, not ours. Brain tumors happen to other moms, not my mom. The fifteen minute drive into the hospital from our house was one of the longest drives I would ever make. I didn’t know what to do, so I turned on K-Love and turned it up. I just started listening to the promises in the songs. Prayed, begging God not to do this. The boys NEED mom, I need mom. She has had her trials. Not her, not this time. I reached a point of no return in my personal relationship with God that day. I completely surrendered, giving Him complete control in the situation. I let Him carry me through. He gave me a peace that can only come from Him.

Throughout moms week long hospital stay when I was driving back and forth every day, one song that kept playing on K-Love was Natalie Grants “In Better Hands“. God knew exactly what I needed in those moments and wanted to bless me greatly. I was listening to this same song on Sunday afternoon and it still brings me just as much peace. I love the fact that My God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. He never changes. When everything else in my life is pure chaos, He is my constant. When no one else understands my hurt, He does. I love in this song the part of the chorus that says: It’s like the sun is shining, when the rain is pouring down. Oh my gosh! How that thought blesses my heart beyond words! To many, and possibly some of you reading, you may not understand how there can be joy in sorrow. I may seem crazy to you. My faith doesn’t make sense. We were not promised that this life would be an easy one. I know that, my sister and brothers know that and my mom truly knew that as well as many of you may know. But I praise God because even when it is pouring down, I have His love and really, that’s all I need. One of my very favorite verses since I was a teenager has been Acts 20:24 and it reads : “However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me – the task of testifying to the gospel of God’s grace.” This is the purpose for my life. If there have to be storms in my life then I want God to use them in a mighty way. I want to learn from them. I want my love for Jesus to grow deeper and stronger because of them.

Many Blessings,

Emily

Related posts:

1. One Year Ago
2. It’s that time of year again!
3. Break the silence